Category Archives: Funny

#TI1M Daftness

I had a few minutes to spare today so I blasted out a ‘Today in one minute’ hashtag video. These are great fun. Very quick and can be done anywhere.

This is so cute. When my friends daughter gets hold of his video camera

This is my friend Paul’s daughter in Australia singing a song to her teddy bears. I listened to this with a big smile on my face. Its so cute.

A Politically Correct Christmas Poem by Author Unknown

I saw this today and thought it was quite funny

A Politically Correct Christmas Poem
by Author Unknown

T’was the night before Christmas and Santa’s a wreck…
How to live in a world that’s politically correct?
His workers no longer would answer to “Elves”.
“Vertically Challenged” they were calling themselves.
And labour conditions at the North Pole
were alleged by the union to stifle the soul.

Four reindeer had vanished, without much propriety,
Released to the wilds by the Humane Society.
And equal employment had made it quite clear
That Santa had better not use just reindeer.
So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid
Were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid!

The runners had been removed from his sleigh;
The ruts were termed dangerous by the E.P.A.
And people had started to call for the cops
When they heard sled noises on their rooftops.
Second-hand smoke from his pipe had his workers quite frightened.
His fur trimmed red suit was called “Unenlightened.”

And to show you the strangeness of life’s ebbs and flows,
Rudolf was suing over unauthorised use of his nose
And had gone on Geraldo, in front of the nation,
Demanding millions in over-due compensation.
So, half of the reindeer were gone; and his wife,
Who suddenly said she’d enough of this life,

Joined a self-help group, packed, and left in a whiz,
Demanding from now on her title was Ms.
And as for the gifts, why, he’d never had a notion
That making a choice could cause so much commotion.
Nothing of leather, nothing of fur,
Which meant nothing for him. And nothing for her.

Nothing that might be construed to pollute.
Nothing to aim, Nothing to shoot.
Nothing that clamoured or made lots of noise.
Nothing for just girls, or just for the boys.
Nothing that claimed to be gender specific.
Nothing that’s warlike or non-pacifistic.

No candy or sweets…they were bad for the tooth.
Nothing that seemed to embellish a truth.
And fairy tales, while not yet forbidden,
Were like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden.
For they raised the hackles of those psychological
Who claimed the only good gift was one ecological.

No baseball, no football…someone could get hurt;
Besides, playing sports exposed kids to dirt.
Dolls were said to be sexist, and should be passe;
And Nintendo would rot your entire brain away.
So Santa just stood there, dishevelled, perplexed;
He just could not figure out what to do next.

He tried to be merry, tried to be gay,
But you’ve got to be careful with that word today.
His sack was quite empty, limp to the ground;
Nothing fully acceptable was to be found.
Something special was needed, a gift that he might
Give to all without angering the left or the right.

A gift that would satisfy, with no indecision,
Each group of people, every religion;
Every ethnicity, every hue,
Everyone, everywhere…even you.
So here is that gift, it’s price beyond worth…
May you and your loved ones, enjoy peace on Earth.

Magic Moments 8th Dec 2014

I little while back my friend, Marc ( www.marccorn.co.uk) sent me these pics he did using daft photos of me. Even though he’s taking the mick out of me, I couldn’t help but laugh, especially at the ‘Up’ one. Cheeky sod he is.

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Introducing children to pets

Advice for new parents in case anyone is unsure.

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And now for something a little different

Opinions will be split over this, but just for the sheer gaul of this soldier I couldn’t resist posting about it. Its not something you see everyday. I dread to think of the trouble he will get into, if they find out exactly which soldier it was. He must of been so bored and fed up and had been watching Monty Python the night before.

This could of been embarrassing.

I was posting a photo of my new ecigarette clearomisor on Instagram the other night. Good job I was paying attention in what I was typing. This should of read ‘My new Kangertech Genitank’

Damn auto correct!!

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Franklin the cat thinks this is funny

Anyone who has cats and has a compoota or laptop will know this one

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It’s that time again

Well,  I have had to resign myself to the fact that that time has come around quickly this time. That time I dread,  like so many other people do. No,  not that horrible time when you have to start school runs again and get stressed at the incompetence of other drivers,  but something equally as bad.  It’s enough to send a shiver down your spine,  make your stomach turn until you physically want to puke,  and that time that can literally turn your hair grey.

ITS TIME TO TIDY MY COMPUTER DESK

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Ignore all the paperwork on the shelf.  That’s for another day. At least I can see the desk now.  WOOOHOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Very handy for drunk men

I couldn’t resist this one. It made me chuckle but also think how cool it looked. Thinking about it, you don’t need to be drunk, just going to the loo in the dark.

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