Today was one of the days we had planned for while were all off for the week together. We went to Newcastles Centre For Life. Wikipedia states that The International Centre for Life is a science village in Newcastle upon Tyne where scientists, clinicians, educationalists and business people work to promote the advancement of the life sciences. The centre’s own website ( click here to go their website ) has this description. “Based in the heart of Newcastle upon Tyne, almost 600 people from 35 countries work here: researchers, doctors and nurses work alongside people in the fields of education, public engagement and business. What unites everyone is a passion for science.
At the heart of the science village is the Life Science Centre, which attracts around 250,000 visitors annually. Life’s public engagement programme attracts a broad audience for exhibitions and special events, and the education team deliver the biggest schools’ science workshop programme in any European museum or science centre.
On site partners include Newcastle University, who chose Life for the location of their Institute of Genetic Medicine; the NHS Newcastle Fertility Centre; the NHS Northern Genetics Service and several young and vibrant biotechnology companies.”
Today though we wanted to go to visit it’s latest exhibition,’Robots’. The new exhibition Robot features over 40 robot models, cyborgs and androids – full size models, heads and toys – from TV shows and films from the past 60 years. The first one we saw as we stood in the short queue enter was one of the gold Daleks from Dr.Who
Being from the generation that grew up watching Dr. Who every Saturday night and being scared of the Daleks I was chuffed to see this, but to me, whats better than seeing one of the new Daleks? Seeing one of the older ones from when I was a kid. The kind Tom Baker used to wrap his excessively long scarf around to overcome the cold hearted metal beasts. There was one such Dalek at the exhibition. They has even given it a name. ‘Bruce’. As I was nearly giddy with excitement like a little kid, I had to get a selfie with Bruce. It was funny as it was a fully moving Dalek. I went and stood beside it and asked him to look towards the camera. His head spun round and pointed straight at the lens. After the photo, his sucker came out to give me a high five. I can honestly say, I have never in my life say I have high fived a Dalek before.
Even Georgia got in on the act and had her photo taken with Bruce and got a high five at the end
The main Robot exhibition was a lot smaller than I was expecting in all fairness. Considering all the advertising and hype I had heard about it, I was expecting more to it. Saying that, it was still really good. There was robots from Lost in Space, Star Wars and Robocop, Heads from iRobot, and Bicentennial Man plus props etc from Star Trek and Mars Attacks
We went to a 20 min show called Hubble at 25. Which was about the 25 year history of the Hubble telescope. It featured some amazing photography which was nearly 3d in effect. It was one of those curved screens so it really captivated you. It was well worth the visit.
There was also a,little thing to mess about on and experiment with. I wouldn’t be surprised if a lot of people just walk by it and not even bother looking at it. Its like a table with a built in screen and lots of perspex blocks. When you moved the blocks around or position them in different ways you creat a connection to the other blocks and create synthesized sounds> It was great fun. I wish I could of had one of these at home to mess about with.
All in all, despite its being 26 pounds for the 3 of us to get in, we still had a great time and had a good laugh. Its good honest, educational fun for the whole family.
Sorry guys, I felt I had to do this post. Even if its a way to just vent my feelings a bit. Its about depression, anxiety and feelings, so please feel free to skip this blog if you wish. If you do read it all, I thank you.
I also realise that this may be grammatically all over the place but I just typed it as it came into my head. I hope you understand.
Due to things happening at work, which is involving an investigation due to a complaint I made and is currently ongoing, I am being left with a massive mental problem. A lot of you may not think it is massive, and in truth, it may not be massive, but in my head, it is huge.
Because of these ongoing things, which at this point I cannot go into, I am not suffering from horrible anxiety attacks which give me painful chest pains. As if this isn’t enough, my brain has basically been turned to mush recently.
A lot of the time I get chest pains or get anxious for no reason at all that I can think of. It just comes on.
On a normal day, when I want to do normal stuff like housework, tidying up, cleaning, washing, answering emails, make phone calls, etc, my brain decides it cannot process anything. Its like my brain just goes into some sort of knowledgeless mode as if it does not know how to do the most common and simple things. It sort of switches off, and I am left bewildered, confused and frustrated as I know I know how to do these things but my brain has decided otherwise and flicked itself into its own version of ‘safe mode’. The only thing I’m missing is a crash report to submit to the brains tech support.
Everything there is to do has a counterintuitive effect.( I hope thats the right word to use ). I know some things I need to do have dead lines, but my brain cannot help me perform these tasks, and because of the deadline, I get more anxious and my brain gets more mushed up, and so on. Its like a snow ball effect. Also normal everyday tasks, I know I can do them normally, and the fact I struggle to do them currently, builds up frustration as well. Again, with the snow ball effect.
So many times, I have had things to do, and my brain just seems to switch off, and I go into a kind of daze, in a world of my own, oblivious to whats happening around me.
My eating is all over the place. I am supposed to be on a diet, but cannot even focus on that at the moment. And as bad as this may sound, and this is totally out of normal character for me, I can go for days without even washing ( apart from brushing my teeth ). I have no interest in it.
Sometimes in the blink of an eye, I go from not being able to function or do anything, to going on a mad cleaning spree or doing something in the garden to tidy up, etc etc. I have mentioned this to my doctor and he is happy I an not starting to become bipolar. Thats one good thing I suppose.
Yes, I have been given meds. Citalopram ( anti depressants ) to be precise, and have also just been prescribed Propranolol (Beta Blockers) for the chest pains etc which I have yet to get from the chemist, but so far the Citalopram does not seem to make any difference apart from make me want to sleep all the time, which my doc says is unusual for that drug.
At the end of all this, because of everything going on, I am left feeling very down, frustrated, anxious, and not sure who I am to a certain extent. This is not me. Not me as I know myself anyway. Even typing this post is giving me chest pains.
There may be some things I have not covered but I may remember later, but that is the way my head is working, or not working at the moment.
If you have read this far, I thank you so much for your time and really appreciate it.
I had to endure an appointment with the Mental Health advisor today at the doctors. It was just a catch up to see how I’m doing. ( And maybes a hidden ‘just making sure you have not topped yourself’ reason ). It seemed to go ok, although anyone who suffers from depression will know how hard it can be to describe how you feel. So in my mind it felt a bit like a waste of mine and the advisors time.
A lazy night was had tonight. D had been on her daily visit to see her gran in hospital. I made her tea ( only pizza and chips ), then we settled down to watch Who Do You Think You Are USA and CSI on tv after shuffling G off to bed. Nice hot toasted tea cakes were the order of the night at 10pm. As normal, not long after 10.30pm, D was snoring her head off next to me on the sofa. In her defence, she was shattered from work, never mind going to hospital as well afterwards. After she went to bed at 11pm I dragged my bass guitar out ( unplugged ) and had a bit of a practice with it. Its been a few weeks since I used it. Just trying to loosen the fingers up.
I think I lasted about an hour after I went to bed before I got up again due to G snoring like some wild animal. I’ll end up going to bed at 6am when she gets up and trying to grab a few hours. Its no wonder I feel like a zombie. A mixture of anti depressants and lack of sleep is not good for ones self.