Tag Archives: update

A nervous day

Its been a long while since I last did a proper blog post. Like so many bloggers and writers out there, I just sort of dried up and could not think of what to put down in writing. I found it a bit easier to vlog ( video blog ) but even then I have had times where I cannot think of something to vlog about. Its pretty much the way my mind works these day and has been for a good few years now.

Today, saw the first telephone contact with the new therapists. The reason for this is that recently there has been an increase in mood swings, anxiety attacks and panic attacks, hyper vigilance PLUS a new development compared to previous times, which at this time, I cannot divulge, but is a concerning development for me. It is due to this new development I decided to self refer myself and to act proactively and nip this in the bud before things got too bad, unlike the last time in 2013 where I ended up in a really ‘dark’ place mentally speaking.

Last week should of been my first phone call with the therapist but thanks to the gas engineers being at our house fitting new smart meters, the call had to be abandoned and rearranged for this week. Like so many people will have done before something like this, I had built this up in my head, so that the closer it got to the call, the more uptight I was getting.

Bang on time at 10am the phone rang and it was a young girl from the therapists who was a trainee counsellor. All she need to do this week was get details to pass to her supervisorabout what has been happening and what prompted me to self refer to them. She seemed really nice and caring, as you would expect, which really helped put me at ease. I answered all the questions she asked and additionally volunteered more information. I will not bore you with the questions she asked but anyone who has been though this process will know exactly what the standard questions of the GAD7 and PQ9 plus a couple of other forms are, including if I had suicidal or self harming thoughts, which thankfully I haven’t. Even though the girl was really nice, afterwards I was still left feeling drained and really down. Since it’s about 4 years since my last therapy session, I forgot how the after effects feel. Pretty crappy to be honest. If it wasn’t for the fact I was run of my feet busy for the rest of the day, I would of locked myself away for the rest of the day and not resurfaced until the evening, just to get some alone time and to process everything.

The girl ended the call after arranging another call tomorrow at 18.00 to speak to me about which direction they can take the sessions, and what sort of help they can provide moving forward. Hopefully there is something they can do for me.

Wish me luck.

Not been well. Update (Vlog #238)

Update as to why there probably won’t be a weekly video this week

My Fitbit One friendship is rekindled

As the New year looms, and a lot of us are thinking about how much food and drink we have consumed over the festive period, and are considering our New Years resolutions. A lot of people decide to diet and become healthier. To a lot us, it is these resolutions that, sadly, we also break after only a short time. Others have other more personal reasons to lose weight and get healthier. I am one of the people in this second group.

My own personal journey started back in 2012, in a failed attempt to better myself. It was smack bang in the middle of what turned out to be a really bad 2 years in my life and couldn’t of come at a worse time to make a decision like losing weight and getting fitter. It was in this period that I bought my first ever fitbit. I went out and bought a Fitbit One. A small electronic device that you clip onto your waistband or bra. Its surprising how much you become sort of attached to an inanimate object like the fitbit and enjoy having it watch and log your every move 24 hours a day. It even watches over you while you sleep like some sort of electronic stalker. Like I mentioned, this was back in 2012 and because of other issues, my Fitbit got suspended from its duties through no fault of its own for an indefinite period. Shut away in my drawer, only seeing the light of day when I went to get socks or underwear, only to be ignored and locked away again, day after day.

fitbit one .1

Moving forward in time to the present. Things are much better. My head is a lot clearer, and after a rather nasty flare up of a chronic back problem that I have, I decided, that I have had enough. I am sick of being a slave to my back injury and because or it, being unable to do any keep fit. Not even swimming was recommended by my doctor. As is typical in the vicious circle of life, this not being able to get fit meant I was putting loads of weight on and at one point I was heavier than I have ever been. Not by much but still the heaviest. That extra weight, and having a sedentary lifestyle only led to me starting to think negatively about my weight. Not being able to do any activities with my daughter, being worried about every single thing I do, ( even down to brushing my teeth ) in case it flared my back up again, being mindful that there is a strong family history of diabetes, and to top it all off, also feeling like some sort of overweight lump and having to buy XL clothes.

One day early this month, I woke up and thought to myself, I have my fitbit lying patiently to be allowed out of the drawer and be reunited with me and also I have a Myfitnesspal account doing nothing. I am going to start getting my life back. I think I have spoke about it that much that Marc ( www.marccorn.co.uk ) has gone and got himself a Fitbit Flex and is doing the same sort of thing as me now. I wish him the best of luck.

My little Fitbit was brought out and charged up, and straight away I got the ‘Hi Steve’ message on the screen. My Fitbit holds no grudges thankfully. It even gives messages of support every now and then.
I logged back into my Fitbit account and myfitnesspal and input all the current details like weight etc and set about planning the new me. I spoke to Dee about it and she too was onboard with the idea so I charged her fitbit up and updated her accounts as well. I makes a lot of sense to do this together. We can both encourage each other and give support and advice. ( and I’m sure my Fitbit is happy its got a work mate to help keep us motivated and to log Dee’s data as well as mine.

One thing I have bought, which I’ve considered for a while and now have bought are the Fitbit Aria scales. The measure your weight ( obviously ) as well as BMI and body fat percentage. I managed to get a good deal on these at the local supermarket.

Aria scales white

I will do reviews of the Fitbit One, Fitbit Aria Scales, and possibly myfitnesspal on separate posts.

So far, in about 3 weeks I have managed to lose a couple of ounces short of a stone in weight. I am chuffed. I am more focused and in the zone about this getting healthier, than I have ever been. Its normally myself that buckles first in our house, if we do diets. Not this time.

You will see updates on my twitter ( @wrighttimesblog ) and on The Wright Times Facebook page and on Google+ about how I’m doing.
The more I read about this and learn from other myfitnesspal users, the more clearer it gets. For some reason, I don’t see this diet as something bad, or a chore. I am actually enjoying it. I have never really enjoyed a diet before.

If anyone has any questions about any of this just ask. I am not a health guru or a dietician so don’t ask what foods to eat. I can only tell you about what I’m eating and doing.

Take care everyone and have a fantastic New Year.

I’ve been missing a while. Update on whats happened

Hi everyone, I hope you are all keeping well.

just a quick post today. I have not been on for quite a few weeks now as I have not been in the best of health. I was getting myself all prepared to go back to work after a LONG time off on the sick with severe depression, when I woke up one day with an achy back. I suffer from a prolapsed disk, and several degraded disks, which I think the specialist classes as Degenerative Disc Disease. So anyway, it got worse and worse on this episode, that at one point I screamed the house down in pain while sitting on the loo. Not a nice experience let me tell you. After that, I basically ended up bed bound for about 6 weeks until I was able to stand and support my own weight. I was in so much pain, I couldn’t even face the easy task of using the laptop. I just couldn’t function properly, mentally wise, due to the pain. I am so sick of this happening every so often. Every time, it adds to the worry that I could end up losing my job over it. They have told me they cannot operate as there is too much degradation in my disks that it will not take the pain away, and could even make it worse. so basically I am stuck with it and just loading myself with very strong pain killers for the rest of my life. I can deal with being disabled to some extent, but the pain is getting too much now.
Those lovely people at ATOS have turned me down for help in the past, when my sick pay ran out at work. Also the local council turned me down for a blue badge parking permit because I could walk too far, despite being in chronic pain and hunched over and shuffling along at a snails pace like some old man. Non of the governing bodies seen to want to offer support.

I have even gone so far as to invest in a wheelchair out of my own money, so as least when I’m in too much pain to walk, I may be able to get out of the house with my family.

me in wheelchair

I have an MRI scan today to see if it has got worse over the last couple of years. It feels like it has. I’ll let you know.

But thats me done for now. I just thought I would pop in and keep you updated.

Take care everyone.

Steve

Fixed at last

Its taken 3 % and a half hours to update G’s laptop after a rebuild. 111 updates. I’m knackered now. Off to bed ski. Night everyone zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz