I have been feeling quite out of sorts for the last week. Not been sleeping properly, suffering from restless leg syndrome, feeling really hot at night even though the house is cold. I’ve not been able to concentrate on things. I got told off by my o/h the other day for ignoring what people were saying to me when we had guests. I didn’t know anyone had spoken to me.
There were a few other things as well that were making me at odds with myself but I has just twigged on why I’m feeling like this. I have, in the last 5 days stopped using my Fentanyl patches for my back pain. Now for anyone who’s not sure what Fentanyl is, it’s a strong opioid pain killer which is most commonly prescribed in patches. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fentanyl
It is apparently approx 100% more potent that morphine, so it shows how strong it is.
I have been taking this for quite a while now for pain that I have from a prolapsed disk in my back. I knew about the restless leg syndrome ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Restless_legs_syndrome ) when I didn’t use the patches but for so strange reason, I didn’t give it a second thought about withdrawal symptoms from coming off the patch. By rights you are meant to decrease the dosage over a period of time.
I know you are proberly calling me a stupid whatever but I have my reasons.
At least now I know why I feel weird at the moment. It’s been frustrating not knowing, but now I can feel a bit happier with knowledge.
Sorry, I have just realised that I never posted and update about my weight last week after going to Slimming World on Thursday. Well, I lost four and a half pounds with got me to exactly one stone, I’ve lost in two weeks. Yehhhh!!!
These are my half stone and stone awards.
I even won a free week so don’t have to pay this week.
Well today is Thursday and its Slimming World day for D and I. Like I said in a previous post, after losing nine and a half pound last week, I’m not expecting as big weight loss this week. There’s no way I should of put on though. I’ve been quite strict with myself. Eating fruit, very little bread (2 slices on Sunday is all I’ve had), drinking water and having healthy meals and a yogurt. I will keep you posted on how I have done.
Today is also the day I have one of my photos posted in a newspaper. ( The Journal extra. Northumberland Edition.) There’s 30,000 copies of this newspaper printed and distributed all over Northumberland. That’s 30,000 people that will see my photo. I cant help but smile. Its the first time a photo of mine has been published.
After rushing outside to get the nearly dry washing in during a sudden downpour, its time for lunch. I’m going to attempt to make an omelette. I think I’ll use the Magic Bullet blender I bought a few years back but never used, Wish me luck.
Update: Using Fry Lite to cook with instead of oil, does not stop the omelette sticking to the pan. Result: 1 x rather messed up scrambled egg. Tastes nice though.
After applying my Fentynal patch last night ( which is now increased to 50 micrograms) I had one hour sleep between 7 and 8 am this morning. I feel so shattered. It doesn’t help that the outside temperature is 20+ degrees.I really should speak to the doctor to see if he can give me anything to help me sleep on the first night of applying the patches. I’m going to have a nice relaxing bath tonight, have my tea then have an early night, ready for a nice family day tomorrow.
I still have not heard from my son, J. Rumour has it he is visiting his sister in another part of the country. I just wish he would text and let me know he is safe and well.
I can’t decide whether to text him or leave him to sort his head out.
The house is looking a bit tidier after sorting stuff out this afternoon. It’s surprising how much rubbish you accumulate over a short space of time. Toffee ( our lion head house rabbit) has torn chunks off the rug which you only find out when you shake it. We might as well throw the rug out if he is just going to use it as a chew toy. It’s not like he goes short of food.
Had a nasty surprise in the post today. My wage slip came, and I am about 24 hours short. Payroll have made a mistake. I think I know where as well. I was expecting 16 hours due to being on the sick and not getting paid for the first 2 or 3 days ( I can’t remember which), plus my first day of sick, we changed from 12 to 8 hours. It may work out correct, it may not. I will see on Monday when I ring up.
Final thought: thank the lord I don’t have to endure ‘Britain’s Got Talent’ on TV tonight. A Saturday off without reality TV teen rubbish. BLISS!!!!!
Well anyone that follows me on Twitter or facebook will already know that I had my first weigh in at Slimming World last night and In my first week lost a whopping nine and a half pound, which also got me my half stone award. I couldn’t stop smiling all night and D was so proud of me. Loads of people at the slimming club , on Twitter and facebook said well done. What a lovely feeling it was.
A couple of people have said that even after only a week, they can tell I’ve lost weight.
I hope I have another good week this week, but I’m not expecting such a massive loss. Fingers crossed for me.
Woke up this morning still feeling a bit head battered after the events from last night. I’m surprised D and I even slept.
Let me fill you in a bit on the events.
My son, who lives about 10 miles away has been having relationship problems with his girlfriend. After being on and off for a while, she eventually ended it with him. He has not taken it well. Over time, he has threatened to, and made veiled comments that he was going to end his life. These were more than likely cries for attention but over the last week things escalated with him trying to overdose on penicillin ( which I’m not even sure you can do, but hey, at least he will have a good immune system), but the idea was there with him. He has constantly been texting her and threatening to end his life, to the point we didn’t have any option but to go to the police. It wasn’t the hardest thing I have ever had to do but it was upsetting for all involved. The police immediately put out a search for him. At one point we found out he was on his way to a local train station, as if to go home but it turns out that when approaching the train station he ran away when he saw the police waiting at the station. After a while, the police found him and took him home. They considered him to be ok but upset so they didn’t deem it necessary to take him to hospital.
We later received a call from a friend of his telling us that he received a message a while ago that he was going to throw himself in front of a train. Maybes the fact he saw the police, stopped him from doing it. We may never know.
I have not heard from him last night or today, so far.
In a strange way, just because I’m his Dad, I feel partly responsible for what he has been doing and upset that I have not been able to sort this out before it got to far even though we have spoken over and over at length, trying to get him to see reason and offer advice and options. I keep getting told that my son is old enough to make his own decisions and that there’s nothing we could do, but this doesn’t take away the upset and worry that I may have pushed him too far. He text me last night before all this kicked off, to tell me, his dad, to leave him alone.
I will try to keep you updated.
Obviously I have had to leave out names and some details due to the sensitivity of the whole situation.
While pondering what to write on here I have been reading the blog of a friend of mine from Twitter. http://princessl.co.uk/ it’s a good, compelling read. Livi really opens her heart about some things that are obviously hard to think about, never mind write about. Have a look. I’m sure you will find it interesting.
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