After applying my Fentynal patch last night ( which is now increased to 50 micrograms) I had one hour sleep between 7 and 8 am this morning. I feel so shattered. It doesn’t help that the outside temperature is 20+ degrees.I really should speak to the doctor to see if he can give me anything to help me sleep on the first night of applying the patches. I’m going to have a nice relaxing bath tonight, have my tea then have an early night, ready for a nice family day tomorrow.
I still have not heard from my son, J. Rumour has it he is visiting his sister in another part of the country. I just wish he would text and let me know he is safe and well.
I can’t decide whether to text him or leave him to sort his head out.
The house is looking a bit tidier after sorting stuff out this afternoon. It’s surprising how much rubbish you accumulate over a short space of time. Toffee ( our lion head house rabbit) has torn chunks off the rug which you only find out when you shake it. We might as well throw the rug out if he is just going to use it as a chew toy. It’s not like he goes short of food.
Had a nasty surprise in the post today. My wage slip came, and I am about 24 hours short. Payroll have made a mistake. I think I know where as well. I was expecting 16 hours due to being on the sick and not getting paid for the first 2 or 3 days ( I can’t remember which), plus my first day of sick, we changed from 12 to 8 hours. It may work out correct, it may not. I will see on Monday when I ring up.
Final thought: thank the lord I don’t have to endure ‘Britain’s Got Talent’ on TV tonight. A Saturday off without reality TV teen rubbish. BLISS!!!!!
Well anyone that follows me on Twitter or facebook will already know that I had my first weigh in at Slimming World last night and In my first week lost a whopping nine and a half pound, which also got me my half stone award. I couldn’t stop smiling all night and D was so proud of me. Loads of people at the slimming club , on Twitter and facebook said well done. What a lovely feeling it was.
A couple of people have said that even after only a week, they can tell I’ve lost weight.
I hope I have another good week this week, but I’m not expecting such a massive loss. Fingers crossed for me.
Woke up this morning still feeling a bit head battered after the events from last night. I’m surprised D and I even slept.
Let me fill you in a bit on the events.
My son, who lives about 10 miles away has been having relationship problems with his girlfriend. After being on and off for a while, she eventually ended it with him. He has not taken it well. Over time, he has threatened to, and made veiled comments that he was going to end his life. These were more than likely cries for attention but over the last week things escalated with him trying to overdose on penicillin ( which I’m not even sure you can do, but hey, at least he will have a good immune system), but the idea was there with him. He has constantly been texting her and threatening to end his life, to the point we didn’t have any option but to go to the police. It wasn’t the hardest thing I have ever had to do but it was upsetting for all involved. The police immediately put out a search for him. At one point we found out he was on his way to a local train station, as if to go home but it turns out that when approaching the train station he ran away when he saw the police waiting at the station. After a while, the police found him and took him home. They considered him to be ok but upset so they didn’t deem it necessary to take him to hospital.
We later received a call from a friend of his telling us that he received a message a while ago that he was going to throw himself in front of a train. Maybes the fact he saw the police, stopped him from doing it. We may never know.
I have not heard from him last night or today, so far.
In a strange way, just because I’m his Dad, I feel partly responsible for what he has been doing and upset that I have not been able to sort this out before it got to far even though we have spoken over and over at length, trying to get him to see reason and offer advice and options. I keep getting told that my son is old enough to make his own decisions and that there’s nothing we could do, but this doesn’t take away the upset and worry that I may have pushed him too far. He text me last night before all this kicked off, to tell me, his dad, to leave him alone.
I will try to keep you updated.
Obviously I have had to leave out names and some details due to the sensitivity of the whole situation.
While pondering what to write on here I have been reading the blog of a friend of mine from Twitter. http://princessl.co.uk/ it’s a good, compelling read. Livi really opens her heart about some things that are obviously hard to think about, never mind write about. Have a look. I’m sure you will find it interesting.
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