Love is

Love is, waking up with the love of your life
Love is, one day seeing her as your wife
Love is, having someone to share your time
Love is, knowing forever you’ll be mine

Love is, having you there through thick and thin
Love is, enjoying your cheeky grin
Love is, surviving our every woes
Love is, like a gentle china rose

Love is, a snowflake on a winters day
Love is, a sailing boat in a small sheltered bay
Love is, a tiny acorn on a forest floor
Love is, a lover coming back from war

Love is, the making up after a fight
Love is, looking into her eyes, so sparkling and bright
Love is, forgiving all their wrongs
Love is, singing to each other your favourite songs

Love is, the first time holding your new born child
Love is, that special feeling when you first smiled
Love is, looking back through stories told
Love is, that cute red nose, when the weather is cold

Love is, promising you will always be true
Love is, that special bond like we always knew
Love is, growing old and your grandchild’s breath
Love is, everlasting long, after our deaths

Miss you Dad

Well my cold has been getting worse over the last few days resulting in me virtually losing my voice last night and today and having loads of phlegm ( I know, its a yuk subject ) I am left today feeling like crap. Apart from feeling rough, today is a hard day for other reasons. Today would of been the 74th birthday of my Dad who passed away on the 14th July this year. I still miss him so much. As much as I did the day he left us. Its still hard to get my head around the fact that in the space of less than two years, I lost my whole family. My brother in Aug 2011, my Mam in Jan 2013 and then my Dad in July 2013. Its no wonder that I am so mentally screwed up at the moment. Its taken since July till about 2 weeks ago just to finish clearing their house to hand it back to the council, so Ive not had much of a chance to grieve. One day I hope I can find it in myself to grieve. These last two years have been so hectic that I have just held everything in to the point I can’t let go. One day hopefully, one day.

Dyson DC59 Animal review

This is not a paid review. It is merely a review of this product that I have recently bought.

For all those people, like myself, that are used to traditional upright vacuums or those pull along things that are designed for the stairs, and who think the Dyson DC59 Animal, looks like a skinny motorised futuristic broom or brush, you could be forgiven for thinking that it couldn’t possibly be very powerful or at least not as powerful as a traditional vacuum. Believe me when I tell you, this cordless vacuum certainly packs a big punch.
Dyson DC59

I got this because our previous vacuum kept cutting out. It started having problems virtually to the day the warranty ran out. I was mooching around in our local electrical store and saw this Dyson, along with other similar looking Dysons. The sales advisor gave me a quick demo of it. He seemed to love it, but there again he is a sales advisor so I take that with a pinch of salt.
I went home and done a lot of comparison checks between the different models of Dysons. Due to the fact we have a couple of cats and the carpets always end up covered in their fur, we had to go for an animal.
I decided I liked the DC59, as it had the best battery life and power, and also it comes with a motorised head for the cat fur, as well as the normal attachments for corners, curtains and cushions etc. It also came with a smaller head which can be used in your car as well.
I showed D, my partner the hoover and took her to the electrical store to see it. She thought it was nice but was very hesitant about the price which at 349.99 ump, I cannot disagree with her on. It is expensive, but from my experience, Dysons are a brilliant machine, and also I had saved some cash up, so could afford it at the moment. We ended up getting it.
As soon as we got it home, D had it out of the box and was giving it a trial run before the battery ran out. I have never seen her so excited about a vacuum before. She was hoovering the house like a woman possessed, and was gutted that the initial charge ran out so she had to stop.
Dyson DC59.1
As we are decorating at the moment, there has been loads to test the DC59 on, and let me tell you, it has not failed once to pick something up. I cannot remember when our carpets looked and felt so good since they were put down years ago. It shows our previous vacuum was not doing a very good job.
Both d and myself, have found the the weigh distribution is really good on this. Its nicely balanced so you don’t end up with aching wrists.It goes from carpet to laminate no problem. It literally glides over the laminate, and as it goes really flat, we can get under our sofa as well.
Emptying is a doddle. Simply slide down the red slider on the main housing and the base opens up for you to tip everything in the bin.
The DC59 has been such a hit in our house that even our 13 year old daughter wants to hoover her room now, which has never been known before.
Although its an expensive item, to me it is well worth it.
Dyson say it sucks up as much dust as a corded vacuum. So far, we cannot disagree. We were shocked at what it pulled out of our carpets.
At about 26 minutes per charge, battery life is one thing that at first impressions you will think, thats not very long, but after the first two or three vacuums of your house, you will fly around really fast with this. There is a wall mounted charging cradle that you can hang the DC59 in to keep charged and also hold your accessories.

So much for a planned relaxing day

Today was meant to be one of those days where I could have a lie in bed as long as I liked then get up and do basically nothing but vegetate. Well thats what was planned anyway. I woke up this morning, well late on this morning with back pain. The same back pain that has hounded me for the last nearly 2 weeks. Even though my bed felt so cosy, and one of our cats was lying relaxed at my feet, I couldn’t lie there any longer. The slightest movement was too painful. I dragged myself up out of bed, went downstairs to make a lovely cup of coffee, only to notice the postman coming to our door. I went to the door to meet him and got handed a letter. It looked official so I sat down with my coffee and opened it. It was an invite for a medical assessment relating to benefits I had started to claim back in July. Because of my frame of mind back then, I didn’t fill the required forms in and just left it, which resulted in the benefits dept stopping my money after only two weeks. I thought no more of it after that, as for the time being I had enough to live on. Well, after getting this invite this morning, I rang the benefits dept to find out why I have been invited to this assessment. They told me that it was never closed off so their systems automatically spat out this invite. I told them about not having any money from them for so long and asked them to close it off, which they agreed to do.
Phone call over, and back to my coffee, which at this point was starting to get a bit cold then within five minutes the phone rang and it was a lovely lady from the benefits dept ringing about my reasons to close the application off. I explained to her my reasons. She explained that as it had never been closed off, if I was to get the required sick notes and forms to them they will look to backdate all the money I should of had between then and now. I took all the details that I needed then spent the next couple of hours making phone calls to different departments at my work, receiving forms via email from work and emailing them back.
As it stands now, I’m just waiting for more emails from work and stuff in the post from the benefits dept.
I have to admit, I was a bit taken aback by the phone call from the lady at the benefits dept. I’m not used to them being so proactive and wanting to help.
Fingers crossed it will go through smoothly and quickly.
I have now made myself a fresh coffee and plan to sit and relax now, even though its 4 hours since getting up.

Goodbye to my childhood home

Since 14th July this year, when my Dad sadly passed away, I have been sorting out his and my Mam’s stuff at their house. I always thought it was my Dad that was the hoarder, but it turns out my Mam was worse. Its been a long, hard slog to get the house empty so that I could give the keys back to the council. It’s cost us a small fortune. Even though my Dad was the tenant and he was no longer with us, I still had to pay full rent every single week. Theres a few things I get really annoyed with the council about. Having to pay full rent is one of them. If theres a way to screw people over and get money, they will do it. The council have also refused point blank to move on their decision to allow me to take the house over, even though my family have lived there for 39 years, and I grew up there. They are sticking to the rules 100% where thats concerned. We all know local councils stick to the rules unless it suits them. I tried everything including speaking to the local councillors and enquiring about buying the property, but no, they stuck to their guns and refused. All the neighbours want me to move in, partly because they know me and I would be a good neighbour, and partly because they are all worried about who will be moved in if I didn’t get it. Its all by the by now, I can’t move in. In some ways, I am relieved its over as its been expensive and has taken so long to sort it out and it’s been like a weight on my shoulders and very stressful and upsetting at times. On the other hand, It’s very sad having to hand back my childhood home that holds so many memories for me.

The start of a new me. A quick review of the Fitbit One.

Prior to the start of our newest, most recent diet which we all start as a family on Monday coming, I have decided to treat myself to something I have wanted for about a year or so now. A fitbit, or to be more precise, a Fitbit One.
The Fitbit One is a small wireless activity and sleep tracker. Its about the size of a small pen / flash drive. About 2 inches long approx.
Fitbit One

This little gem, once set up correctly, can automatically sync with your Fitbit account and upload your activity for that day. Everything from steps taken, calories taken in and burned, (although where this is concerned, all the foods you enter onto your account, at the moment are American so UK users may have to guess and click on the nearest, or manually input foods, including calories, sodium, carbs etc. This can be a pain, until Fitbit include English foods and brands). sleep, and awake times which I find really useful for monitoring how much or little you sleep and seeing where you wake up or are restless.
Fitbit One sleep pattern
I was quite shocked by how little sleep I had that night and explained why I woke up feeling shattered.

Another thing it monitors is stairs climbed. This to me is a little misleading as it does not necessarily mean stairs. It apparently works using the inbuilt altimeter which monitors atmospheric pressure changes, so walking along a road that goes up a hill has the same effect. Apparently its set to 1 set of stairs = 10 feet rise.
It also measures distance travelled.
On your Fitbit account you can set targets or goals to reach each day, which encourages you to do more walking etc. Also, you can add friends on there and have a bit of friendly competition and support each other.
You get all the sync and charge cables required for connecting it to your pc or Mac, and setting it up. You also get a rubber belt / bra clip which has a really secure strong clip.

And to complete the package you get a soft velcro wrist strap to wear while asleep. I’ve worn this strap three times now and unlike wearing a watch for bed, you don’t really notice this. On the subject of using it in bed, there is also a silent alarm feature that gently vibrates on your wrist without waking your partner.

After using the Fitbit One for 3 days, I have found myself being more aware of how much, or how little walking I do and I have been trying, when possible to get those few extra steps in. For example, walking round to the shop instead of doing the lazy thing and driving, or taking a different street in town to get to my destination, just because its a slightly longer route, or goes up a bit of a hill.

So far I’ve not really logged my food intake for the calories, partly because its all american brands, and I’m finding I am having to log lots of stuff manually and update the data for it, like calories, carbs, sodium etc, but also we are not starting our diet until Monday coming. I suppose I should get into the habit of doing it now and just pick what I think is the closest brand, which could be quite a way off on the calories, or create a new item with the data from the packet. At least I might get a rough idea of how many calories I’m intaking. As for calories burned, I’m not sure how thats calculated. It might go off your current weight and height that you input when you set your account up, compared to calorie intake and exercise you do.

For all us smart phone users out there, there is an app to help you track your daily activity. Once installed and connected to your account, it sync’s with your Fitbit One to give you a mobile, more concise version of what you would get via the full website. It supports a lot of the more modern phones, and has just started supporting the Samsung Galaxy S4 as well which I’m pleased about as thats what I use. Please note, it does require a network connection.

This is not a paid review.
Fitbit’s website can be found here

My first ever Ghost hunt. 35 Stonegate, York. 3rd Aug 2013

My review of the ghost hunt at 35 Stonegate, York plus ghost walk beforehand organised by GCUK. ( )

It was originally planned for me to attend this, my first ever ghost hunt, with a friend, but due to ‘unforeseen circumstances’, he was unable to attend so I was left to do it by myself. I was really looking forward to it but nervous at the same time, as I had never met anyone who would be there before. I had nothing to worry about. Everyone, from GCUK staff to the other guests, were lovely. I felt welcome straight away.
Before the main ghost hunt, some of us met up for a ghost walk of York led by Simon Entwistle ( ). Simon took us to places that I have been to before and know a little bit about them already due to researching but Simon gave loads more detail. Whichever place he took us to, he made it really interesting.There was non of this cheesy stuff the normal touristy ghost trails do. No cheesy costumes, hammed up acting or people jumping out etc. I’m really glad, as I hate all that. Simon told it seriously. The story I think touched everyone the most was when we visited Bedern and heard about the children that died there. The whole place, even though its outdoors had an imposing feel about it. Such a sad story. I even took my better half and daughter there the next day to tell them about it.
Simon is a true gent and made a point of chatting to everyone. Thank you Simon.

Ghost hunt:
All the guests were made to feel part of the group and were fully protected from the very beginning. We were involved in everything and offered the chance to take part in experiments. I tried the Ouija board with 3 other guys. Unfortunately our spirit who we suspect was messing around earlier and pretending to be someone he wasn’t didn’t want to communicate at that time, even though he came through strong on the human pendulum earlier in the night. I also was given the chance to use the laser thermometer and I even had a go of Mike Blackers thermal imager. Being a bloke, I found this really cool.
Some people had to be removed from rooms due to being effected by spirit or other reasons. There was even one or two people scratched. The GCUK staff were fantastic on these occasions, making sure the affected person was totally ok.
Personally, I attended expecting a repeat of my April visit where I felt some very strong stuff. For some reason this time I didn’t. The place felt a lot different. At times, it felt sort of ‘flat’ to me. Saying that, there were some knocking and footsteps heard, and shadows seen. One of the highlights for myself was being in the attic with Mike Blacker . I sat on a chair in the corner and I started getting a strange feeling on my right calf. It was if someone had a gentle hold on it. At the same time as this, I felt a cold spot beside me At the same time as this Mike picked up the cold spot on his Flir thermal imager. We both picked this up before the other had a chance to say anything about it. I could feel the edges of this cold spot which was approx. 3 foot tall. Mike checked the area and could not find any signs of drafts from anywhere. Mike then left me alone in the attic to check something happening on the stairs. I sat there feeling totally relaxed with this ‘cold spot’. I felt as if this was a child, but could not tell if it was male or female, but I remember at the time I kept getting mental images of a boy. I even chatted to it and thanked it for being so well behaved. According to what Mike has mentioned since then, our cold spot, dissipated at the same time, as the spirit of a child disappeared in the lantern room that the girls were communicating with. It was a bit strange how one moment the cold shape was there and the next moment it was gone.
There was one funny occasion when Jenny Bryant ran across the dining room screaming because ‘something’ touched her leg. It turns out the guy she was standing beside moved the curtain to check behind it and it touched against Jenny’s leg. That was very funny.
All in all, I had a totally amazing night and will definitely want to do it again.
The GCUK staff are brilliant. Nothing was a bother for them. Any question anyone had was answered. They always made sure everyone was safe and well.
Its right what they say about 35 Stonegate. It certainly gets under your skin. In total, I’ve been there 5 times now. 4 normal visits and 1 ghost hunt. Everytime I go to York, its one place I make a beeline for.

Not what we were expecting


Arrived at the home and immediately saw the doctor. She said that Dad had shown signs of improvement so they have decided to reapply his intravenous fluids for the time being. I asked about his catheter which had been removed and if that would be reapplied as well. She said it will be.
She agreed with me that this is more than likely a short term remission. She also said that if he shouts out for Nursey and then drops off to sleep again that’s fine as he may not know he is even doing it, but if he shouts and doesn’t go back to sleep and starts getting agitated then we should tell the nurse so they can give him sedatives.
This is exactly what he did. There was no settling him. He was shouting for Nursey, even when the nurse was there. He had is eyes virtually fully close but as if he was asleep but still getting agitated.
We decided to wait till he settled down quite a bit then went to make a coffee. When we came back, he was asleep again, which was good. He stayed this way pretty much all afternoon and evening even though the home had a children’s fair on in the grounds, some of which went outside his window.


D and myself came back from the Royal Quays to find Dad still asleep, until that is about quarter of an hour later when he started asking for Nursey.

It took ages to calm Dad down. He had to be given 2 different injections to settle him. The first had no effect, which is unusual.
Anyway once the medication has set in, after what seemed an age, Dad settled down and went to sleep. Its absolutely awful seeing a loved one so agitated. The nurse said that a lot of the time, he won’t be aware he is shouting out. Doesn’t make it any easier to watch though.


Saturday 13th July 2013

As I sit here typing this post, I am in the day room of the nursing home where my Dad is currently a resident. I am so nervous. You see, yesterday my Uncle Tappy and myself came in to see the doctor to get an update on my Dad’s condition. We were informed that I is now only a matter of a few days at the most, possibly even that day. I took Tappy home after that then went home myself. A few hours later I was back again, but this time with D. I couldn’t help myself. I just sat a watched my Dad breathing. Every time his breathing changed or paused, my heart skipped a beat. After a couple of hours we went home. I didn’t want to leave, but I needed food and rest and to get changed and showered. Also Denise has work today so she needed rest as well.
So this morning I have come straight to see Dad. They currently have my Dad sedated as he was getting very distressed for the last few days. They have also removed his drip for his fluids. Dad looks very peaceful. More peaceful than I’ve seen him in a while. Still, as I watch him sleep, I am so nervous something will happen while I am by myself but at the same time, I do hope he passes in his sleep without any distress.
Dad woke up and ate a full bowl of ice cream and had a few slurps of coke. As Dad does not appear to recognise me, I thought it best to talk to him as if I was nearly of the carers so he felt more settled knowing someone was keeping an eye on him. Anything to try and keep him calm.

Joe my Son turned up. He’s not seen Dad for a while. He seemed to be ok, and said he was but he was suprised at how much weight Dad had lost since the last time he saw him. He also commented on the yellow colour of Dad’s skin. I explained dome of the things that happen, have happened already and will happen. Harsh I know, but he needs to understand what’s happening.

Dad has just had more medication to sedate him. The reason for this is because I walked into his room and his breathing has got quite rapid. I got a bit of a fright and told the carer who got the nurse. I thought ‘it’ was happening. That shows how hard I am finding this time accept, by calling it ‘it’. I’m struggling to say the words. You all know what I mean.

I noticed again that my Dad’s breathing has changed. His chest is moving up and down normally but his stomach is moving a lot faster. As I quietly entered the room, he woke up and instantly started shouting for Nursey. This is what he has been calling the nurses since he started getting confused. I got the nurse and explained about his chest and stomach and his shouting. She asked me to give them a minute to check him over. After checking him, she came to me and explained that his heart rate is now irregular and as well as the obvious all over change in skin colour to yellow meaning his kidneys are starting to fail, the backs of his legs are now turning blue, meaning his circulation is starting to fail. She also explained that they had just given him some more sedative so it will settle him down again.
I cannot explain how I am starting to feel about things at the moment. Its like I feel numb.
I left to come home and get something to eat get my head together and wait for Denise to get home from work.


D, Tappy and myself arrived at the home. Dad is still asleep. So not to disturb Dad, we went and sat in the day room. After 10 minutes or so, D nipped along to check on Dad. She came back and said he was shouting for Nursey again. I went along and pressed the call button for the nurse. They came and we left them alone while they made Dad comfortable. After doing that, the nurse explained to us that they have had to remove his catheter as it wasn’t working any more, and after that, he was able to pee freely so was obviously in a bit discomfort due to this.

A little later on, the nurse explained that they have increased his medication from 10mg to 15mg as the 10mg was no longer keeping Dad settled and comfortable.


D drove Tappy home while I stayed at the home with a coffee. I checked in on Dad every so often and then sat in the garden area to relax.
This is more than likely going to sound awful but while I was outside, a couple of funeral directors turned up to collect someone. I recognised one of them straight away. It was Alan, who was the director who dealt with my mother’s funeral back in January of this year. I said hi to him and we got on chatting. I explained about Dad. He was very sorry and suprised to hear the news. As Alan did such a great job arranging my mother’s funeral, and my Dad got on really well with him I asked if he would have any problems being the director for my Dad’s funeral once he has gone. He said there would be no problem at all apart from he will be off work next week if that’s when it would be. I think my Dad would be pleased it was the same lovely man arranging his funeral as sorted his wife’s.
Again I didn’t feel right leaving to come home but we were shattered and needed food.